I’m glad I didn’t miss her when she walked into my life.
In fact, I was ready for her.
When Rachel walked into my life, I was ready to be her partner. I was facing forward.
I’ve been facing forward for gay rights since I was a little girl. My beloved uncle and inspiration, Efrain, was gay and in the closet. With love and patience, he explained to me that gay people didn’t deserve my derogatory scorn. Years later, long after he died of AIDS and as I entered adulthood, I realized that my uncle had deserved all the opportunities that I would enjoy.
I knew a few gay people in high school and college, but as an adult I finally added myself to the LGBT community as a friend and activist. As a supporter of LGBT rights, I was a supporter of basic equality. My co-worker at the ACLU and her partner and their children deserved the same rights that I would have with my family.
I always said that everyone is a little bit gay. On a more serious note, I’m grateful to every LGBT person who let me see a little bit of their life, good and bad. The blush of first love, the bitter breakups, the spats over household chores, the toils with in-laws, the late nights of baby nursing, all the little scenes that make a lifetime of love and partnership, all were the same for my LGBT friends and me. When I married my ex-husband, I joked that we would divorce and remarry in the first state that allowed gay marriage. My heart soared when gay couples began marrying in San Francisco and I wept when we lost state after state to DOMA legislation.
All that time living closely with the LGBT community left me with a precious gift: an open mind and an open heart. When Rachel walked into my life, my heart came alive and nothing stood between me and my joy. I knew my feelings weren’t wrong, I knew what our life together might look like, I knew that my friends and family would embrace me, I knew what obstacles we would have to overcome, I knew what opportunities lay ahead of us, I knew I wanted to pursue happiness.
I don’t know if I was always gay, but I do know that thanks to the love and warmth of my LGBT family and friends, I trusted my heart was just and pure when it fell in love with Rachel. I was facing forward and waiting for her. 